Perhaps someone ought to tell Randy Hollis of the Deseret News that the Lake Erie Monsters won the Calder Cup Championship last night and that the Cavs haven't lost the series to Golden State just yet.

Instead of recognizing any of that, Hollis wants to hand Clevelanders a tissue from his desk in (ahem) Utah. Here is an excerpt from his latest "effort."

New York City has long been called "The City That Never Sleeps."

Not since 1964, when star running back Jim Brown led the Cleveland Browns to the National Football League championship, has that Midwestern city been able to say it's the home of a major professional sports champion.

The City That Always Weeps, eh? Very clever, Mr. Hollis.

You can read the rest of his "writing" here.