As locals know, from the wins on the court and around the diamond to a nearly incident-free Republican National Convention, things are going very well here in Cleveland

The national press is predictably flummoxed.

- In this one for the Washington Post, for instance, Adam Kilgore seems to believe we're all slack-jawed and blinking doe-eyed at one another, bewildered that anything other than gray skies and doom could befall our unfortunate lot:

"People here are trying to comprehend what has happened over these past few months, how to process a delirious and wholly unfamiliar confluence."

- The incredulous question mark in this headline for Corky Siemaszko's effort for NBC was not lost on us. It's as if to say, can this really be happening? In Cleveland?

The 'Year of Cleveland'? Hard-Luck City's Sports Fans Are Losers No More

- Lastly, this headline and subhead atop this article from Jared Diamond for the Wall Street Journal has us in crisis mode:

Success Is Giving Cleveland an Identity Crisis

The city’s sports fans could experience a second major championship in one year—a 180-degree turn for a town accustomed to losing.

Now then, gentlemen, while we appreciate the concern, not to worry. We can handle it. We suggest you, however, calm down and take a powder.