From Yohana Desta for Vanity Fair:

Tom Hanks' latest role is local hero. On Dec. 2, the superstar actor (and patron saint of missing gloves) will embark on an incredibly daunting mission: to make Cleveland cool. More specifically, he wants to use his fame to help the Ohio city's film and TV industry. The actor will speak at two events sponsored by the Greater Cleveland Film Commission, according to Deadline, a nice way of giving back to the city that got him his start in the acting world.

"Incredibly daunting mission," eh?

Don't worry, Tom, we don't blame you. Now then readers, do Fresh Water a favor and read the rest of the article for us while we sigh and turn the page.